What Does it Take to be a Maid of Honor?

On January 9, 2015

A friend of mine was asked to be a Maid of Honor for her best friend. She asked me for some advice because she is really nervous that she will forget something important, or not be a good MOH. That got me considering that other MOH’s and Bridesmaids’ might need some advice as well.

My first suggestion is to talk it out with the bride. You need to figure out what she actually wants from you. You should ask her what you are expected to pay for (what sort of dress, shoes, jewellery, hair and make-up you will require for her wedding day).  These sorts of things can add up, and it’s good to find them out before it’s too late. You should also ask the bride what she expects from you before the actual wedding. Will you be required to make phone calls and plan parts of the wedding? Maybe she will presume you will be able to make “girls night” every Saturday to work on her DIY wedding projects. We all have different ideas for our maids, so you should just ask her what she thinks!

A happy groom and bride  tossed into sky by a group of friends

A happy groom and bride tossed into sky by a group of friends

Next, you need to find out who’s planning the bridal shower and stagette/bachelorette. Conventionally it is the MOH that plans both of these events.  Does the bride already know what she wants? Maybe someone else is planning the shower already. It’s good to ask the bride. I suggest following a schedule similar to this one from the Knot if you are going to be planning these events.  http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridal-shower-ideas/articles/a-bridal-shower-planning-checklist.aspx. Neither of these events has to be traditional either. Don’t be afraid to do something different. Is the bride an artist? Maybe you should plan a party at 4Cats or a paint night at a bar (I’ve seen a Groupon for a paint night in Edmonton). Has she always wanted to check out Julian’s Piano Bar; go there! Ever thought about throwing the stagette/bachelorette at a casino? Possibly the bride loves karaoke; check out a neat karaoke bar. Perhaps she would enjoy a relaxing evening at the Melting Pot. Or maybe she wants to have a spa day. No ideas should be out of the question because it’s not traditional.  Every Bride is different, so they shouldn’t all have the same pre-wedding parties.

As the MOH on the day of the wedding, your main concern should be to make sure your best friend is ready for her big day. It’s always good to know you have someone in your corner with you. Support her and confirm that things are going smoothly.


“Gitanjali Victor and her maids” Photo by Crystalized Memories

The MOH should also be prepared to give a speech at the reception. Your speech should not be longer than 5 minutes. You don’t want anyone to zone out while you are speaking.  It’s best to start with how you know the bride. Not everyone at the wedding will know who you are, so tell them. Then say something about why the bride is so special to you. Don’t talk about her ex’s or try to embarrass her. This is not the time or the place for that. Go on to talk about why you know the bride and her groom are meant for each other.  Lastly congratulate them with a toast and let someone else speak.

Being a MOH or a bridesmaid should be fun! Hopefully this will help you actually enjoy being a part of the wedding party.   Good luck and don’t stress out about it too much!


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